Rules of Engagement


So as we sat around the corner of the bar discussing if the engagement should come when you are bursting with love for each other or when you are bursting with love for each other and financially stable.  And then discussing the age old question of how long it too long to wait for that ring? And do expectations increase as the wait increases? In my humble opinion no they should not, which got me thinking about some random thoughts I was having while strolling down Broadway on my way back from lunch.

A few days before I left for Africa for the first time ever I took off my engagement ring and put  it far and away in a very safe place, leaving me to sport my wedding band while roaming the African plains. So for the past few days I have been wandering the streets of NYC with just my band on receiving some of the weirdest looks of “what exactly is that on your finger?” and “what is that band supposed to mean?”  and “Where is the rock?” So today I retrieved my rock from my far and away place, which got me thinking what exactly does an engagement ring mean?

To me it means a worldly declaration of a couples love for one another. Because they loved each other before, but now it is serious business and the whole wide world can know. In a way it simply means we are taking this relationship to the next level. When you stop and think about it, the wedding band is the important bit. That is the piece that symbolizes the vows, the sacrament (or whatever you believe in) that is made in front of a religious/government official and your family and friends. It is the piece that really seals the deal.

An engagement ring can be given back as easily as it can be accepted, but once that wedding band goes on breaking it off can get a whole lot trickier. I can see how people can get caught up in the sparkle and glam and forget about the commitment that comes along with it.  In NYC it feels like some people view their engagement ring as more of a status symbol than a symbol of committed love. Mr. K proposed to me with two rings one bought from a touristy shop in Jackson Hole and another handmade specifically for the engagement by a man he randomly met a few days before he proposed. A normal person would not see the glam to these rings, but I saw their pure wondrous fulfilling beauty. That moment was everything I had ever hoped for and more than my wildest dream could have fulfilled upon! I took that ring back to Manhattan and showed it off to everyone and anyone who would stay long enough to hear my story. So for me  it’s the meaning behind these two pieces of jewelry that really matters not the ascetic of them. It doesn’t matter how long you waited to get this ring – the point is that you go it, you should be proud of it whether it s a piece of garden twine or a 7 carat flawless diamond with matching pave wedding band. It isn’t the pomp and circumstance in the way that these things are presented.  It’s the love, trust, commitment, and happiness that resides in these symbols that really count.


September 17, 2010. Friends, love, Newly Wed Notes. Leave a comment.

Africa, Honeymoon, Here we come!!

August 21-22, 2010

In the spirit of the Friends Monica and Chandler honeymoon episode Mr. K and I arrived at JFK airport expecting a free upgrade to first class.

Me: Hey! how’s it going? It’s our honeymoon we were wondering if there is anything available in first class. (wink wink)

Emerates ticket man: Yes there is for an upgrade fee of $8,000 a ticket.

Me: OK. What about business class?

Emerates ticket man: yep $4,000 a ticket

Me: OK. how about emergency row seating.

Emerates ticket man: (makes a whispered phone call where only thing i make out is honeymoon couple.) Yes we have something available.

We may not have been first  class but we got the most pimped out seats in coach, the first row with about 4 feet of empty space in front of us and an extra seat in our row (which later acted as a trash can for all the wine bottles we consumed.) Then we met Jesse our flight attendant friend who hooked us up the rest of the flight, our honeymoon was off to a smashing start.

So a 12 hour flight to Dubai. What to do what to do, well there was movie watching, photo book reading, pong playing and flight watching – where we realized that we were flying over Iraq – Baghdad etc, are there no such things as no fly zones anymore??

Soon we arrive in Dubai and yes it is as designer as everyone says  – pretty much 5th ave in an airport where they sell $127 headphones like JFK sells .25 cent Posts. So here we are thinking that we are in the most modern totally together airport, where the chairs are not just sitting chairs they are recliners.

Finally Nairobi where was meet our driver Gibson holding a sign reading Kocubinski/Ritchey just past baggage claim. It has secretly been a dream of mine that a drive will meet me with a sign at an airport waiting to take me away to a exotic place, and now my dream has  true (but even better than my dream since my dream has turned into my honeymoon with Mr. K. )We are truly blessed.

We jump on our Safari bus and head to our hotel a 5 acre oasis in the middle of the city. Beautiful. We have dinner and are now turning in for what should be an awesome day of giraffe and elephant sanctuaries, open air markets and much more!

August 22, 2010. Tags: , , , . love, Newly Wed Notes, Travel. Leave a comment.

Can you go over there and eat that?

April 26, 2010

Mr. K : Can you turn the TV on if you are going to eat that so close to me?

Me: Ok, but how do you deal at work with everyone eating near you everyday?

Mr. K: They don’t sound like you, but I don’t like to hear them either.

Mr. K does not like for me to eat around him. It doesn’t really seem to bother him when we are eating together, just when I am eating and he is not.  He has issues with the way I eat or the sound that I make or all of the above. Not really sure the exact reason, but I know that it creeps it  him out. It’s been that way for as long as I remember, so I don’t think it’s one of those things that used to be cute but is now annoying. So that is good. At least we are not developing annoyances about each other 5 years into the relationship. That would really suck considering we are spending the rest of our lives together. 5 years is just a drop in the bucket! Then again some people get married and divorced in less than 1, so maybe 5 years is long enough to be finding little annoyances. Anyways I don’t think Mr.K and I are one of those couples. So right now we will both deal by turning the TV on in order to drowned out some of my crunch crunch.

April 29, 2010. Tags: . love, Newly Wed Notes. Leave a comment.

Valentine’s Day Part III

Feb. 12-15

Luckily I am not hungover! Mr. K and I hit up the breakfast buffet just in time for some omelets, pancakes, pastries, and anything else you can imagine! This is our big activities day, Mohonk has a ton of wintery sports to try out and we are getting in on the action. After breakfast we decide to go ice skating, something we have never done together. I am decent on skates, Mr. K however is not very experienced. It was odd seeing him struggle with a winter sport, usually he dominates over me. I will say that by the end of our skating adventure his gliding skills had really improved!

We made a quick stop at the gym and the heated pool before heading to lunch. So both the food and service at breakfast and lunch were great, especially the service at lunch. So I’m not really sure what went wrong with our V-Day dinner last night. Maybe they really were serving us left over wedding banquet food and were staffing the dining room with temps. Weird.

After lunch we grab our snowshoes and head up to the tower. I’m still not sure what the tower is or why it’s there, but I guess it a big attraction and you can see pretty far from the top. Up we hiked through the cool calm wilderness. I think over the past few years I have come to realize that I am not the type of person who wants to spend all of their fun time city livin’. Sometimes I feel like Mr. K and I might be one of the few Jeresyites who avoided the city altogether on Valentine’s day. I want to be out in the world living it instead of watching it go by from my window. Everyone is different and some of my hands on vacations might sound like torture to some, but to me they are a once in a lifetime experience that you just cant get from a tour bus. I am lucky to have Mr. K as my adventure partner to keep me motivated and excited about our journeys. For me, our activity packed day after valentines was the perfect way to end the weekend and great way to sweat put last nights booze!

Happy Valentine’s Day! I hope you had a good one, cause I sure did!

February 18, 2010. Tags: , , . love, Travel, Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

V-Day Weekend, Part I

Feb. 12-15, 2010

So I have never been a big believer of Valentine’s day, I am with the crowd that thinks it’s a made up holiday created by hallmark to get people to buy $6 cards and overly priced low grade chocolates. Most of my life I have spent V-day drinking lots of wine and eating lots of these low grade chocolates with my single friends. Then I met Mr. K and have since spent every Valentine’s day with him, usually going to a nice dinner in the city or cooking up some yummy lobsters at home.

So has my perspective of V-day changed since I met Mr. K? No, I still don’t believe in the holiday. What I do believe in is spending some uninterrupted time with the person you love. Not thinking about work, or to do list or kids – nothing. If Valentine ’s Day is your excuse for truly being able to be with the person you love – then I support that. To me that is what really matters, who you are with, not the huge heart shaped balloons and singing cards, but actually spending time together. If that time together comes hand in hand with a great dinner or trip away – then I support that too!

So according to my philosophy Mr. K and I started off the weekend right – riding the train back home to Jersey together after work on Friday night. We cooked dinner and watched the opening ceremony of the Olympics mixed in with a little Vampire Diaries :).

Saturday was spent getting all of our stuff done so that we could relax come Sunday, when our Valentine’s Day celebration begins. So I tried to perfect my poached eggs and worked until early afternoon on Saturday, and packed for our awesome trip to Mohonk Mountain House!

February 16, 2010. love, Travel. Leave a comment.

V-Day Unsurprise

Feb.  11, 2010

Someone got a little drunky last night and spilled the beans about my Valentine’s Day surprise. Mohonk Mountain House here we come! You will find me in the mineral pool drinking champagne!

February 12, 2010. Tags: , . love, Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

Valentine’s Day Surprise!

Feb. 9, 2010

“Do you want me to tell you what it is, or keep it a surprise?” Mr. K

Surprise of course. Today during work I received a phone call from Mr. K telling me that he created a secret plan for Valentine’s Day! I am very excited! I have never taken a secret surprise trip with Mr. K. All I know is that there will be a very fancy dinner, most likely some sort of hot tub, and a few wintery activities! Yay! Now to figure out what to wear…

February 11, 2010. Tags: . love. Leave a comment.