Rules of Engagement


So as we sat around the corner of the bar discussing if the engagement should come when you are bursting with love for each other or when you are bursting with love for each other and financially stable.  And then discussing the age old question of how long it too long to wait for that ring? And do expectations increase as the wait increases? In my humble opinion no they should not, which got me thinking about some random thoughts I was having while strolling down Broadway on my way back from lunch.

A few days before I left for Africa for the first time ever I took off my engagement ring and put  it far and away in a very safe place, leaving me to sport my wedding band while roaming the African plains. So for the past few days I have been wandering the streets of NYC with just my band on receiving some of the weirdest looks of “what exactly is that on your finger?” and “what is that band supposed to mean?”  and “Where is the rock?” So today I retrieved my rock from my far and away place, which got me thinking what exactly does an engagement ring mean?

To me it means a worldly declaration of a couples love for one another. Because they loved each other before, but now it is serious business and the whole wide world can know. In a way it simply means we are taking this relationship to the next level. When you stop and think about it, the wedding band is the important bit. That is the piece that symbolizes the vows, the sacrament (or whatever you believe in) that is made in front of a religious/government official and your family and friends. It is the piece that really seals the deal.

An engagement ring can be given back as easily as it can be accepted, but once that wedding band goes on breaking it off can get a whole lot trickier. I can see how people can get caught up in the sparkle and glam and forget about the commitment that comes along with it.  In NYC it feels like some people view their engagement ring as more of a status symbol than a symbol of committed love. Mr. K proposed to me with two rings one bought from a touristy shop in Jackson Hole and another handmade specifically for the engagement by a man he randomly met a few days before he proposed. A normal person would not see the glam to these rings, but I saw their pure wondrous fulfilling beauty. That moment was everything I had ever hoped for and more than my wildest dream could have fulfilled upon! I took that ring back to Manhattan and showed it off to everyone and anyone who would stay long enough to hear my story. So for me  it’s the meaning behind these two pieces of jewelry that really matters not the ascetic of them. It doesn’t matter how long you waited to get this ring – the point is that you go it, you should be proud of it whether it s a piece of garden twine or a 7 carat flawless diamond with matching pave wedding band. It isn’t the pomp and circumstance in the way that these things are presented.  It’s the love, trust, commitment, and happiness that resides in these symbols that really count.


September 17, 2010. Friends, love, Newly Wed Notes. Leave a comment.

Paris Day 2

May 30, 2010

Paris, day 2 – French Open and the scavenger hunt. Looking back this entire day seemed to be somewhat of a scavenger hunt.  Mr.K and I hunted for the Metro after another amazing breakfast that consisted of cheesy goodness and a perfect bright orange egg on top! Then we hunted for J and E at the French Open – although we did get a little distracted the Polish doubles and front row seating.

Then we hunted for a café to sit and have a drink at, and then we got real – we decided to do what every tourist in Paris should do: Eat and Drink their way through a Parisian neighborhood. We started out by hitting up the patisserie near our hotel for French pastry, a baguette, and a crepe avec nutella et framboise. Then we found the nearest café and during the standard 20 minutes wait for our champagne to be delivered to our table, created a scavenger hunt list. Here is most of what we came up with:

Guinness – Mr. K

French beer – Mrs. K (kronberg)

Champagne – both

Red and white wine – both

Savory – both (crepes w/glass white wine) – Mine was sooooooo good – I LOVE French eggs

  1. Sweet – both (pain au chocolate and Meringue)

Cheese and bread – (brie, sheep’s and baguette with red wine)

Wild card – both

Touch water – both (fountain at Jardin du Luxembourg and La Seine)

Smoke something – both (not accomplished)

Drink a beer in the street – Mrs. K (Duvel purchased from a bar and toted along on my bike)

I believe the only thing that we did not accomplish was to smoke something. After our champagne we went off in search of a good ol American dive bar, Mr.K knew just the place. We tapped their Guinness keg watched some hockey and tried to avoid eye contact with the creepy homeless guy wandering aimlessly around the bar asking for ciggys. Next was food time we found another very American crepe place I ordered the best crepe ever (well maybe this one is second to the duck crepe in Montreal) stuffed with cheese spinach and a perfectly fried egg. Mr. K’s crepe not very good, but its ok he helped me eat mine.

We wandered and found a cute pastry shop with huge white fluffy meringues (oh lala!) for me and a pain au chocolate (his pastry of choice)for Mr.K. With the sweet safely in my bad we asked for the nearest wine store, of course! We ask the wine shop owner if she would help us pick out a nice bottle of red for bread and cheese eating. We get our bottle and two glasses and head back to the hotel.

With Bread, wine, cheese, and pastries in tow we picnic among the manicured trees and blooming flowers in the Jardin du Luxembourg.  We then decided to take on some wild cards:

  1. Activity involving statues
  2. Make out in the rain
  3. Run back to our hotel before J and E get there.

At some point during the best day ever in Paris, day turned into night and we end up in a bar with live jazz music with J and E. Awkwardness. But Awkwardness can be remedied with drinking, and often time’s hilarity ensues from the drinking. This is how we find ourselves biking to Notre Dame at 1 am me with a beer in my bike basket – followed by some groovy gymnastic moves outside of the church. The rest of the night pretty much goes as follows:

  1. J drinks from La Seine
  2. Random French bar with Sean White doppelganger
  3. Trying to get McDos to open up for us sometime between the hours of 4 and 6 am
  4. Mr. K and I getting back to our hotel realizing that it is sometime between 4 and 6 am and we have a noon flight back home.
  5. Us both praying that our wakeup call actually wakes us up
  6. Sleep
  7. Ring, wake up call success!

July 9, 2010. Tags: , , , . Events, Friends, Travel. Leave a comment.

Delicatessen Date

Feb. 22, 2010

Tonight Mr. K and I are going to dinner with HB, CM, JS and their dates to Delicatessen. Most of us will be meeting CM’s date for the first time. She seemed a wee bit nervous about it today during our e-mail conversations.  We all are pretty well behaved normal people, I didn’t think she needed to be nervous – we are not that bad are we?

It’s not easy introducing the person you are dating to your friends. It’s not easy for you or your date; I think there will always be some nerves. To me friend approval is huge! People in relationships tend to be somewhat blind to certain aspects of their relationships. If my friends like the dude I am dating then to me that means I am seeing the relationship clearly. It means that the person who I am dating respects me and shows that when around my friends.

I think I first introduced Mr. K to some of my friends at Trinity pub, an Irish bar on the UES. Wait, maybe the first time my friends met Pete was at our tropical spring soiree. Trinity was after our Canyon Road date which I think was our second and our tropical party was our third date – which I know for sure. Either way I’m sure I had a drink or two in me to calm the nerves, and make the situation feel less awkward even if it wasn’t!

My friends are pretty harsh critics (myself included) when it comes to analyzing each other dates. We want to make sure that the man is deserving of our friend, and that our friend isn’t focusing on his one good trait, completely blind to the much more apparent faults. I just don’t want my friends to be hurt and disrespected in a relationship. I don’t form an opinion all at once, I don’t think it fair to make snap judgments on a first impression basis,

So I was ecstatic when Mr. K slowly but surely passed approval from my friends. I knew our relationship felt perfect, and it was great to know that they could see and feel it too.

February 24, 2010. Friends, Newly Wed Notes. Leave a comment.

Iggys, San Loco, and Rock Band

Feb. 19, 2010

This morning Mr. K and I started out on the wrong foot. We got into some text/telephone conversations all before 7:30 am that left me feeling confused and stressed out. So, for most of the morning I sat at work with a tight little ball of tensions and stress sitting in my chest. Not exactly how I wanted to start out my weekend! Looking back it’s pretty funny that I let a few text messages and one short telephone conversation change my whole outlook on not just my day, but my weekend as well. I have been learning not to carry around my past into my future, but easier said than done.

Flash forward a few hours and one phone conversation with Mr. K later, and I am on my way to meet him at Iggys in the LES, where we had post dinner drinks on our first date. Now this is one area of my past that I don’t mind dragging into my future. It was great sitting reminiscing about our first date. We each remembered exactly where we sat (big round table near the door), Mr. K knew exactly what he played on the jukebox (a lot of Verve, that is no longer on the jukebox), and me not believing that his middle name is Ezekiel, and forcing him to show me some proof. It was crazy how all the memories came flooding back as if our first date was months ago instead of years!

The main reason we were out that night was to see HB’s boy toys band play at the Delancy. So after we stopped at San Loco for a quick dinner (seriously the best tacos ever!), we headed over to the Delancy just in time to catch the band’s first song. I didn’t really know what to expect, but his band was a really impressive rocker band, leather pants and all! So in true rocker style we kept the party going after the set was finished on the rooftop bar of the Delancy.

February 23, 2010. Tags: , , . Events, Friends, Newly Wed Notes. Leave a comment.

Super Bowl!

Feb. 7, 2010

Mr. K and I are slowly breaking in the new apartment. We had some Jersey neighbors over for the Super Bowl tonight. Our super bowl gathering ended up surprising me, it wasn’t your typical chili/hoagie party, we stepped it up a notch and brought some tasty crustaceans to the party. I always get a little nervous when I entertain people in a new environment for the first time. I was nervous before my gal pals came over, and again I was slightly nervous before Super bowl gathering. Once everyone got in and got a beer and got settled my nerves melted away. Plus Mr. K gallantly took charge of the food! He had everything cooking together harmoniously smelling delicious. It was great! All I had to do was sit on the couch eat some brie and take 5 minutes to make the broccoli (which I slightly overcooked, ooops). Not only did he make the dinner, but he gave a lesson on how to break into the little critters, warning everyone to stay away from the “mustard” and saving the shells to make a bisque. Then to top it all off he did most of this dishes. I could get used to this!

February 8, 2010. Tags: . Friends, Jersey City. Leave a comment.

Visit from the Windy City

Feb. 3, 2010

Tonight I had dinner and drinks with my friend MS, who moved from NYC to Chicago a few years ago. Over the year we have kept in touch periodically with e-mails and sporadic phone calls. About a week or so ago I got an e-mail call from her with the MOST exciting news. She is taking a leave of absence from the US and heading to the land down under, Australia. She found a great work/travel visa for young people that lets you live there for a year while working and traveling. So by this time next year she should be jackarooing around the wild desserts chasing after kangaroos.

As we got to talking, I realized that we have/had experience some of the same stuff since 2009 to present, and I was happy that I was able to share my experiences with her. She is selling her apartment, Mr.K and I played the whole real estate game for the majority of 2009, not to mention our rental properties in Utah – which is a whole other story entirely. She is up and moving to a completely different continent and beginning a new chapter of her story.   Mr. K and I have been talking about doing a big move for years, but life has postponed it with engagements, and weddings, etc., but now its starting to feel like it might be the right time to seriously take the next steps.  We chatted about these giving advice, and sharing our disasters.  seeing how and where our lives overlapped each other, despite the fact that we live so far away.

February 5, 2010. Friends. Leave a comment.