Rules of Engagement

9/16/10

So as we sat around the corner of the bar discussing if the engagement should come when you are bursting with love for each other or when you are bursting with love for each other and financially stable.  And then discussing the age old question of how long it too long to wait for that ring? And do expectations increase as the wait increases? In my humble opinion no they should not, which got me thinking about some random thoughts I was having while strolling down Broadway on my way back from lunch.

A few days before I left for Africa for the first time ever I took off my engagement ring and put  it far and away in a very safe place, leaving me to sport my wedding band while roaming the African plains. So for the past few days I have been wandering the streets of NYC with just my band on receiving some of the weirdest looks of “what exactly is that on your finger?” and “what is that band supposed to mean?”  and “Where is the rock?” So today I retrieved my rock from my far and away place, which got me thinking what exactly does an engagement ring mean?

To me it means a worldly declaration of a couples love for one another. Because they loved each other before, but now it is serious business and the whole wide world can know. In a way it simply means we are taking this relationship to the next level. When you stop and think about it, the wedding band is the important bit. That is the piece that symbolizes the vows, the sacrament (or whatever you believe in) that is made in front of a religious/government official and your family and friends. It is the piece that really seals the deal.

An engagement ring can be given back as easily as it can be accepted, but once that wedding band goes on breaking it off can get a whole lot trickier. I can see how people can get caught up in the sparkle and glam and forget about the commitment that comes along with it.  In NYC it feels like some people view their engagement ring as more of a status symbol than a symbol of committed love. Mr. K proposed to me with two rings one bought from a touristy shop in Jackson Hole and another handmade specifically for the engagement by a man he randomly met a few days before he proposed. A normal person would not see the glam to these rings, but I saw their pure wondrous fulfilling beauty. That moment was everything I had ever hoped for and more than my wildest dream could have fulfilled upon! I took that ring back to Manhattan and showed it off to everyone and anyone who would stay long enough to hear my story. So for me  it’s the meaning behind these two pieces of jewelry that really matters not the ascetic of them. It doesn’t matter how long you waited to get this ring – the point is that you go it, you should be proud of it whether it s a piece of garden twine or a 7 carat flawless diamond with matching pave wedding band. It isn’t the pomp and circumstance in the way that these things are presented.  It’s the love, trust, commitment, and happiness that resides in these symbols that really count.

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September 17, 2010. Friends, love, Newly Wed Notes.

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