To Co-Habitate or Not to Co-Habitate?

Jan. 27, 2010

“Do you miss him like crazy?” My co-worker/friend LE

My friend LE and I were having a chat at work about married life. She was married a little less than a year before me. Her and her husband didn’t live together before they got hitched – they had the type of real romantic relationship that you don’t see now a day. The kind of relationship where you love the entire person, and not just for their body and booty call abilities. Anyways, her first year of marriage was probably a lot different than what mine will be.

It got me thinking about how different these past few month would have been if Mr. K and didn’t co habitat post our nuptials. When Mr.K first asked me to move in with him it was a very exciting, ecstatic, flustering and nervous experience. It was HUGE for me. I was scared, happy nervous every emotion. Plus it meant that we would be bringing money into our relationship equation – for some money issues makes things a lot more strenuous.

As I thought about it I just don’t know if I could have handled the stress of planning a wedding on less than four months – having to move out of my 84th street apt then  into Mr. K’s NYC apartment then a month later move out together then move back into Jersey together. I think all the stress of the wedding, trying to find apartments and finally moving not only once but four times during a one month period would have made me go insane. Plus I don’t think my Jersey angst would have helped the newlywed relationship. It might have even made me resent the first few months of our marriage, instead of loving and embracing them.

The years that we spent living together really strengthened the relationship, our love and our bond. It helped us get through the rough patch before the wedding. Deep down we each know the type of people we really are, despite the crazy characters that we were being at the time. Not saying that people who choose not to live together before marriage don’t truly know who they other person is – they do, they know. All I’m saying is that my relationship was (and still is) the best one for me.


January 28, 2010. Tags: , . Newly Wed Notes.

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