Home Depot

Oct. 26, 2009

Tonight I went to Home Depot to purchase a table top cut from plywood and a closet hanger bar. Here are a few highlights from my trip:

I rolled my flatbed cart to the back of the wood section where I hear the saw cutting wood, figuring some staff person would be back there to help me choose a piece of plywood.

Mrs. K: Hi, my table top broke and I’m looking to replace it.

Worker: Was it glass? We can’t cut glass here.

Mrs. K: No, I want to buy some plywood and have it cut down.

Worker: How big does it need to be? I have this piece of wood that you can have, it’s left over from a job we did, it’s a nice piece of wood.

Mrs.K: No, I think I need something wider than that maybe 40” x 40”? Do you have anything like that?

Worker: No, but you can go down that aisle and get some plywood and have it cut down to the size you want.

Mrs. K: Can you help me find one? Wait do you even work here?

Worker: No, I’m just a vendor

Mrs. K: Ha-ha sorry!

At the checkout:

HD Worker: You know you have to pay for the entire sheet of plywood; you should go get the rest of it.

Mrs. K: No, all I need is this piece

HD Worker: No, really you paid for the rest of the wood you should go get it.

Mrs. K: OK I will go pick it up

Me after I have retrieved the very large piece of leftover wood:

I try to push my flatbed cart down the aisle with the two large pieces of plywood stacked on top, my cart goes crooked and crashes into the saw cart, I straighten out my cart, begin to push it, and crash into the saw cart again, I straighten out my cart begin to push it and crash into the saw cart again, I straighten out my cart begin to push it and crash into the saw cart again, I straighten out my cart begin to push it and crash into the saw cart again, I straighten out my cart begin to push it and crash into the saw cart again, I straighten out my cart begin to push it and crash into the saw cart again. Finally I make it past the saw cart.

Exiting:

As I round the corner to exit the building I take out the metal display cart, creating quite a clatter, and numerous stares.

The Elevator:

Somehow I managed to park on the second floor of Home Depot, now I must get the cart into the elevator. I miss the elevator twice, but finally get it on the third try, but knock both pieces of plywood off the cart in the process.

The Car:

Finally I make it to the car, try to put the larger piece of wood into the back seat, it does not fit. I lean the wood against the flatbed cart, the wood pushes the cart and it rolls away. The HD worker cleaning the parking lot offers to help; he cannot get the larger piece of wood into the truck either. After 5 more minutes of rearranging, I tell him to take the wood back to the store. I put the table top piece of wood into the back seat.

I vow never to go to Home Depot alone again.

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October 28, 2009. Uncategorized.

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