My Letter

Oct. 17, 2009

Dear Dad,

I have realized that I have not been authentic with you in our relationship. I am quick to get angry with you, do not feel as though you have supported me, and that you are act disinterested when I try to share my experiences with you. Because I allowed myself to feel this way I have closed the door on our relationship, shutting you out of my life. I am responsible for my actions and words, and have realized that you did not  cause me to react this way, I caused it. I am responsible for the demise of our relationship…

This was part of the letter that I wrote on Friday night, and this was part of what I read to my father Saturday morning. Sharing this letter with my father was both a humbling and empowering experience. As I began the letter I felt my tears transform me into the little girl, teenager, and young adult who was constantly fighting with, while secretly wishing for the support of her father. But I am no longer that little girl, I am a woman who has reverted to this little girl every time she speaks to him. This morning I said goodbye to her.

It was hard reading the letter, not only because of all the feelings and  emtions that it brought to life, but because I couldn’t expect to get anything in return. I could not expect him to apologize or admit he was wrong – nor did I want him to do this. All I wanted him to do was accept what I as saying and forgive me and the relationship I created, and receive the unconditional love I was handing him.

I knew I had to straighten this relationship out, because it was creeping into all of my other relationships. Mr. K and I constantly discussed it, I dragged this unfortunate issue into our relationship and now into our marriage. We discussed my daddy issues, instead of discussing our lives and aspirations, and it needed to stop. As of today it is done.

Advertisements

October 20, 2009. Uncategorized.

Leave a Comment

Be the first to comment!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Trackback URI

%d bloggers like this: