817

Oct. 5, 2009

“When you come home you will have a brand new apartment.” Mr. K

This morning the “speedy Russian movers” came an hour late to move all of our stuff out of the NYC apartment into the NJ apartment. Six hours later our stuff had successfully made the transition from city life to suburbia.

I expected to walk into to our apartment and see a much larger looking space, now that it had been emptied of all its contents. Instead, I saw a very tiny rat hole. Yes, this rat hole has been remodeled with stainless appliances and granite countertops, but it was still a rat hole none the less. It was tiny. How did Mr. K and I manage to live here for over 2 years?

This tiny apartment played a very large role in our relationship. There are no doors to slam in each others face, and no rooms to hide in. When Mr. K and I fought we fought face to face sitting on opposite sides of our couch (the one piece of furniture suitable for sitting on in our living room). When we were finished fighting we sat there fuming at each other on opposite sides of that couch one cushion apart. After about 20 minutes of silence one of us would start talking, and our tiffs were always resolved before the sun came up.

Since we could not run away from each other, we had to face each other, our apartment made us discuss our problems, our fights, our feelings. There simply was no more space left in the apartment for Mr. K and I to hide anything from one another. Trapped in our tiny apartment we soon learned that we were unable to stay mad at each other for long. The apartment taught us how to discuss our problems, emotions, annoyances, anything that was bothering us about the other person, or our relationship in real time. It helped make us stronger, instead of pulling us apart.

So I can’t help but wonder if anything will change once we move into our new large apartment, complete with space and doors that can be slammed in the others face. Will we forget the vital lesson that 817 taught us? Or we will continue to sit on our couch face to face yelling, crying, fighting, and loving one another until we reach our resolve.

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October 6, 2009. Uncategorized.

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