Day 4

Sept. 29, 2009Pony

It’s the last day of the Utah vacation. This vacation has been different from all of our trips to UT. This was not a house renovations trip, it was a get to know the town trip. So I tried my best to get to know our houses, the roads, the “city” and the valley. I wanted to spend one day as if it were my home. What would my routine be? So  I frequented the gym, walked around the “city” drove around by myself. But as I stood on the people mover at the airport on the way to my gate, I felt the slight pang of disappointment.

I don’t know if it was disappointment in the “city”, the trip, or myself. The pouting didn’t start until this afternoon (up until then I was great!) as we drove around and around and around the valley. About an hour in I began to wish that they had left me at home, but truth be told I was tired of spending every afternoon alone. So there I was, pouting,  in the middle of a beautiful canyon, spending time with great people, because the two things that I wanted to do the most on this vacation got cut. Not to mention the fact that we were car hiking, which always brings back the disturbing memories of the car hiking I did with my family on the famous trip we took out west the day after my 21st birthday.

As I get older I have begun to painfully realize that it’s not about me, it’s about some sort of “we”. Whether it’s you and the Mr., you, the Mr, and the Mr.’s papa, or you and your friends. It’s no longer acceptable to try and force people to do what you want and then pout when you don’t get your way, (or in my case act helpless and just go along with the group because you feel like you won’t be able to change the plans even if you tried.)

This whole non pouting thing has been a hard lesson for me to learn. Ever  since  I was a youngin’ I have been used to getting my way, even if I had to manipulate my parents to get it. But as I try and figure out the type of woman I want to become I’m realizing that there is no longer a  place for my old school childish antics.

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September 30, 2009. Uncategorized.

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